TURN ON THE LIGHT

Lost!
That's how I feel,
I'm in hiding,
Yet I don't know why.
What am I hiding from?
Why do I feel this way?

Pain!
Nature's very own reality check,
I feel something is missing,
The dull ache in my heart,
It never seems to cease,
Have I done something wrong?
Why the pain?
Nothing feels the same anymore.
Why?

Guilt!
I feel a burden upon my jead,
What have I done?
My life keeps flashing before my eyes,
I feel numb yet hurt,
Hurt because...
I have definitely done something wrong,
The question is...
What?

Depression!
I am sinking,
Spiralling down into a black hole of self-harm,
Bits and pieces are coming back,
Things I did,
Things I failed to do.
How didn't I see this before?
All my past mistakes now lay before me,
The hurt anger,fear
Mocking and scornful.

Regret!
Why did I let Him go?
How did I lose sight of what was really important?
All these years,
All the time wasted,
Trying to be someone I was not,
Someone I will never be,
Trying to fit in.
Alas!
It has all backfired.

Redemption!
I come before You,
Begging for Your grace and mercy,
Your guidance and divine direction,
Asking for You to be the light in my life,
To restore my sense of normalcy,
Once again.

Turn on the light,
For I am lost and aimless without You,
Save me from myself,
For I cannot help but feel,
That I am my own consequence.

Turn on the light,
For I cannot see,
Let the effervescent glow warm me,
Direct and guide me,
That's all I need,
You.

Turn on the light,
For it gives me a greater hope.

     " In the darkness, He is my Light. "

1. P.S : This piece was written when I was beginning high school and was my very first try at poetry.